In this series, Lauren will rewatch Disney movies from her childhood to see what sort of trauma she can drudge up.
TODAY’S FILM: Aladdin – 1992 – Rated PG
WHAT I REMEMBER: For some reason, this movie always makes me think of fall as a kid. Makes no real sense because it takes place in a desert. But. This was probably my 2nd most watched movie as a kid. I watched this one on repeat. Even more than Lion King, probably. I was completely entranced with Genie and all of his magical moves. I was obsessed with Jasmine’s hair.
Also, a bit controversial, I think I may have been Jasmine for Halloween one year. It was the 90s, a different time, but I still don’t know how I feel about it. If I had a kid who was obsessed with a cartoon and wanted to be that character during a dress-up holiday in a Walmart costume? Where is the line between being culturally insensitive and true pretend play as a 4-year-old? I truly don’t know the answer to that. Just another great reason to not be a parent.
If it makes it any better (it doesn’t), I’m pretty sure I had to wear a coat over my costume that year anyway. Thanks, Ohio.
THE PLOT, AS I REMEMBER IT: Creepy intro with guy selling the magic lamp. Somehow the lamp inside of the sand tiger cave. We meet Aladdin, who’s a babe who lives on the streets and is a Robinhood of sorts. A street rat, if you will. We meet Jasmine, who, much like Ariel, is a daughter who feels trapped by her great, fancy life and wishes to be a slave to capitalism instead. She sneaks out of the castle and meets the street rat (who obviously falls in love with her immediately), goes to his crib and meets a monkey in a tiny hat before she is dragged back to her perfect life. Oh also, her pet is a TIGER. She’s also got some tiny birds, which are a metaphor for her crappy, royal life, I guess.
Ok, flash forward, and somehow, the street rat gets asked to help… rob the tiger sand cave. Shit goes down, and all he manages to get is a stupid lamp and a sassy rug. He rubs all up on that lamp, and blue Robin Williams appears and does a big musical number. Blue Robin Williams says he’ll grant three wishes, but he can’t bring back the dead, make anybody fall in love or… crap, I’m pretty sure there’s a third one. The street rat chooses to become a prince to be in Jasmine’s league and provides absolute 0 disguise, yet our genius princess doesn’t figure it out until he asks, “do you trust me?” Classic dbag move, honestly. I think he also asks for another one of his wishes here. But I forget. Maybe it’s the big show when he comes to town as Prince Ali? Idk.
Ok, the princess isn’t buying it but falls in love against her better judgment. Enter Jafar. Jafar is what the Romans call “a creep.” I’m pretty sure he’s Jasmine’s uncle? He wants to take over the kingdom from Jasmine’s bumbling dad, who has a weirdly floppy, bread-like turban. He’s adorable and wears a lot of rings. Jafar wants to marry his niece and kill his brother so he can be king. Yikes. Oh, also, Jafar has a parrot who’s rude and hates crackers.
Wow, I remember a lot, I guess.
So now Jafar is coming for Prince Ali/street rat. He lures him into some weird cave to save the princess who’s trapped in a huge hourglass (I had to Google ‘glass sand time thing’ because I forgot the word hourglass). She creates a rouse, they… escape I think… but somehow now the genie is under weird uncle’s control now? So then Jafar wishes to become all-powerful. Aladdin bates him by saying that he’s not the MOST powerful because the genie is still more powerful, so then he wishes to become the most powerful genie ever, ultimately putting him in a lamp like an idiot.
Oh, and at some point, Jafar reveals to the princess that Aladdin has been catfishing her the whole time and that he’s not really a prince, and all it took was a change of outfit for her to recognize him from the streets. Girl needs some glasses.
She decides she still loves him even though he’s a broke liar, and she tells her dad that she wants to marry this scrub. Adorable dad is cool with it. For Aladdin’s last wish, he sets the genie free. They all hang out and are besties forever and ever the end.
Finally, the love of my life, Lea Salonga, is the voice of Jasmine. Or at least does the singing, anyway.
AS I’M WATCHING: Oh dang, I didn’t remember that we meet Jafar like, RIGHT at the beginning. Ok also forgot that it’s a 2-piece beetle broach that opens the tiger cave. Man, pretty sure I had nightmares about that tiger cave as a kid.
This is weirdly specific, and I mentioned it above, in all of these Disney movies, the fabrics all look so fluid. Like pizza dough. I love it.
Gilbert Godfrey really made a whole career out of having an annoying character voice. Have you heard him use his real voice? It’s almost disturbing.
Know what else is interesting? Since COVID, I’ve realized just how much I rely on lip reading. I’ve always loved having subtitles on as well. Something about auditory processing? Maybe it’s slow for me? Anyway. Watching these older animated movies, where the animation of the dialogue doesn’t exactly line up/accurately represent what’s being heard is weirdly difficult to watch. Anybody else? Ladies?
Jafar’s snake staff with the crazy eyes is reminiscent of that snake in Jungle Book. Neat.
Can’t kill anybody, can’t make anybody fall in love, can’t bring people back from the dead, and can’t wish for more wishes.
I had also forgotten that Aladdin has a perfectly good opportunity to come clean and chose not to. Just like my ex. Shout out to bros everywhere.
I’m also realizing that there was absolutely no vetting process for these princes back in the day. Truly how did you prove that you were a prince of anything? And not just a street rat in a cropped vest and Dixie cup hat?
FINAL THOUGHTS: I genuinely enjoy this movie, even still, 20 years later. I think Disney does a great job at making movies for kids that are also tolerable for adults. Jasmine’s hair is still goals, and I still wish I had a pet tiger.
OVERALL RATING: 8/10